One Million Served
6 months. 64 posts. 2011 comments. One million page views. Mike Industries hit seven digits today, and to celebrate I’m giving away an Apple Bluetooth keyboard and Microsoft Wireless Optical Mouse to the person (or people) who submit the best comments, in haiku form, as to why they want either device. An example is as follows:
Oh Bluetooth Keyboard
I Yearn For Your Wireless Touch
Untether Me Now
The best haikus posted by EOD Wednesday, will be shipped the products. Multiple entries are fine.
I want to thank everyone who has been reading and/or participating in this site over the last several months since inception. I feel like this blog is 99% troll-free, and the quality of discussion is top shelf. Never would I have learned that the McLean Deluxe burger is part sea-kelp without the vast pool of savants who visit these pages.
I also want to give a shout out to Dreamhost, my hosting company of choice. I’ve hosted sites with many different ISPs in my life, but Dreamhost just continues to completely blow me away. I have zero complaints and a thousand compliments. In fact, I’m so satisfied that I just gave them placement on my sidebar, which is about the closest thing to an ad you’ll find on this site. If your hosting company doesn’t make you want to run over and hug them, you should check out Dreamhost.
Thanks also to The Wolf who continues to make the world a better (coded) place. Somebody please clone him.
Anyway, I’m off for a vacation in the Mayan Riviera now. The diving is supposed to be great. Will post close-up pictures of sharks when I return.
UPDATE: We have two winners! Thanks to everyone for participating. There were more than a handful of really great haikus, but these two stood out as the greatest:
Pale azure molar
Blinking vermillion rodent
Freely I would roam
— Isaac Lin
Contiguity?
Electromagnetism!
Disentanglement.
— Jay Robinson
Congrats to Isaac and Jay. I’ll ship you your stuff as soon as I get back from vacay.
sad, toothless cat seeks
a fiesty, free-spirited
mouse, for coy couching
Apple mouse one button
Keyboard has so many more
Brings me unwired joy
Well, it’s a 5-7-5, but it’s no flash of brilliance. Perhaps inspiration will hit later.
White keys of wonder
Tempt me not with your brightness!
My fear: coffee stains
tiny powerbook
you lack a numeric pad
my little twelve inch
Come unto my hands,
ye keyboard of the bluetooth.
A benediction.
Laptop love is strong
But sometimes too confining
For a heart so free
What’s up you slack-jawed yokels? Since when is “wire” one syllable? (I don’t care what dictionary.com says Mike).
(And never mind what a redneck is doing with a wireless anything.)
Each hates the other
They don’t play well together
Both are loved by all
These desktop gadgets:
Are batteries included?
If not, please mention.
Writing these haiku
Imagining wireless life
Carpal tunnel cured?
Ye gifts that compete
Yet still work well together
Come to your new dad
Lint and dander, ugh
Rolling ball all gummed up now
Really need that mouse
Candied apple toys
Peaceful designing spaces
Smoothly flowing ideas
You’ve said it yourself
I’m a whore for free Mac swag
Still don’t want your crap
:)
Now, proper haiku
does not include sentences
that span across lines
I will not scold, though
Mike will have to be the judge
May the best poem win
burdened for too long
stranded in a windows world
please help ease my pain
Oh and by the way
Do countless rips of Shaun’s site
qualify as clones?
I left a comment
And received traffic from Mike
But lots more from Scrivs.
An Apple keyboard
Not much use for me… maybe
Sell it on eBay?
(Editor’s Note:
Scrivs gets great numbers
A traffic whore some might say
More power to him :)
)
Badger Badger Badge
Badger Badger Badger Badge
Mushroom Argh A Snake
Does that work?
On Ebay, you say?
They will sell, yes. Right away.
Instead, charity.
traffic, I have half
time, it took me twice as long
does jealousy show?
Seattle is far off
hoping to get a keyboard
avoiding the sharks
Standards compliant
Smiling with my bright blue teeth
mac friendly device
I learned poetry
In elementary school
I’m an old fart now
Trying hard to Switch
This would be a good head start
College makes me poor
Once I’m done switching
I can create more web stuff
PC holds me back
Save the shipping costs
Bring to me in Orlando
I want that keyboard
Forthcoming battles.
Two seperate worlds now converge.
Only one may rule all.
Ah, made a mistake in my previous post.
UPDATED:
Forthcoming battles.
Two seperate worlds now converge.
Only one may rule.
Pale azure molar
Blinking vermillion rodent
Freely I would roam
I’d like a new mouse
Mine is tethered to a box
But works otherwise
;-)
My mouse does not move.
Tugging, I find the root cause.
My foot’s on the wire.
I like to write these.
But I use Windows machines.
Do I get a prize?
Pale white jellybean.
Crystal tray of sugar cubes.
Blue-tooth or sweet- one?
Piece of crap software.
Holes. Flaws. Bugs. Hacker heaven.
I’d like a mouse please.
Stuck behind tower
Mouse cord wins tug-of-war
Cordless would free me
My poetry sucks
so much that I’ll never win
this contest in rhyme.
Maybe another
seventeen lines will improve
my odds of winning.
But alas I am
naught but a daily lurker
here on Mike’s site.
I helped with the hits
but not with “troll-free” comments
(as mentioned above).
I would (of course) like
to be untethered in front
of my Powerbook.
But my chances of
winning a Norse king’s device
are quite low, I feel.
Yet I had fun with
my tirade in three lines of
five-seven-five.
Congratulations
on your truckload of traffic…
now, back to lurking.
no wires to rule them
and in the darkness bind them
us wants the preciousssss
Crap, I messed up the
last stanza of my great ode;
it should be written:
Yet I had a blast
with my tirade in three lines
of five-seven-five.
How I yearn for it
The ability to roam
Untethered and free
Thirty feet away
If I had a projector
I could read the type
Next, a 30-inch.
Eleven pixel type’s wee.
From way way back here.
Noncommittal scribe
Seeks partner free of baggage
With white keys, blue teeth
Wife’s new PowerBook…
Me, with 30-foot mouse range?
I’ll drive her insane!
Son of a mother…
Tripped on another! …hello?
Wireless, you say?
On superhighway
mouse spit and spat smoke so black
dead ball worn all flat
Blue Tooth can rhyme with
Phone Booth, where I spend quarters
To prank call Zeldman!
White keys are grubby.
Gunk on underside of mouse.
Clean them…or write poem?
Lousy at counting…
Screwed up scansion; five, not six!
Here’s my revision:
White keys are grubby.
Gunk on underside of mouse.
Wash…or write haiku?
With one million served,
I hope to get the hardware
With this cool Haiku.
Z X C V B
N M comma space and shift
All just died today
please, guru-Buddha,
free my desk from suffering
and its tangled cause.
please guru-Buddha
cease USB attachment
send liberation.
please, guru-Buddha,
impart equanamity
on peripherals
please, guru-Buddha,
grant me wireless blessings,
bluetooth happiness.
my teeth turn blue at
the thought of wireless keys
dancing in the night
Is wireless worth three syllables? I’m banking on it…
sick of waiting for
rumored powerbook update
give me distractions
Or for a shoddy second attempt:
bluetooth and wireless
overrated and pricy
don’t care coz it’s free
Yay me.
I want a puppy
But this white mouse is better
No leash, no poop scoop
I don’t want your stuff,
I can just go get my own.
Keep the damn keyboard.
;)
give to me the toys
please people, let me have them
C’MON I NEED IT!
Contiguity?
Electromagnetism!
Disentanglement.
Nice site !
input devices
shed your ungainly shackles
you’ve typed the millionth
G4 400
with clumsy one button mouse
really need new one
Sorry my Apple.
Time to meet Bill Gates!
Courtesy of Mike.
Microsoft made this.
No wires helps me forget!
Standards Complient?
Congrats Mike!
External Hard Disk
Getting unplugged by mouse cord!
Site of the year lost!
could buy it myself
but, at comment 59
i save that and time
Already I am wire-free
But the mouse, it says M$
Oh god it burns me.
Its very touch, hot
Singing my flesh with letters
Set in a bold font
Now I wear the word
In the palm of my burnt hand
For all to behold
My PowerBook Sad
His Bluetooth Module Still Sleeps
Awake It My Friend
Vines Entangle Limbs
Jungle Is Fraught With Chaos
And So Is My Desk
It Lives To Transmit
It Sets Accessories Free
Forsooth: It’s Bluetooth
Poetry Is Weird
I Do Not Like To Write It
Give Me The Keyboard
Perhaps after this
I won’t be able to say
“I don’t have good luck”
sixty-two comments
wow, what a large number
my iMac is old
because it is old
I just think, maybe, it’s me
who needs the keyboard
and alas, my mouse
always trips over its long
electric grey tail
My mac chugs along
Wires protrude from the back
Clean me up Scotty
To win the package
I will not copy your site
Kevin Elliot
I would not know a hi cooo if it hit me square in the face. Send it to someone with a clue. P.S. You suck for taking a vacation when I am up to my armpits in snow. May you have a near death experience. Just kidding — please don’t, travel safe. Congratulations on your success. I like your site even if the closest I get to a mac is with cheese.
my lonely bluetooth
built to order, now useless
the module needs friends
site hits one million
the one a poor man visits
even without promised reward
how did it get there?
could it be S. I. F. R.,
or some witty posts?
Sorry, I didn’t mean to rhyme on that (even though it’s a “force rhyme” on the second line). Can I try again, even though it’s pointless since I’m a Windows user? Let’s Westernize this Eastern art form. ;)
Whoops, I forgot to add BR’s.
bluetooth happiness
kinesthetic love comfort
wireless mouse fun
no longer do i bite.
no cord with which to floss;
i have a blue tooth.
or…
from afar i pine;
the mouse relinquished his orb.
ah! cherry blossoms!
Give me the one gift
Take my fingers to heaven
Picard has no wires
Worf has his bat’leth
Picard has his enterprise
What does allen have?
With wireless keys
My hands will type heavenly
Award me the prize
Mouse with his laser
Keyboard with only a rope
What a poor excuse
The desk is breaking
The monitor is bleeding
Make my in-put grand
Jesus laughs at me
“What a pathetic key board”
Please make Jesus pay
The song on the wind
“Wires are for cavemen”
What a hateful song…
Gigantic G5
How you look so small to me
From across the room
Noisy Quicksilver
When I use you from afar
My love rekindles
Oh peecee laptop
How you are green of my blue
Such a sexy tooth
One million visits
Mikey gives away bluetooth
No one button mouse
I vote for Ryan
his haiku made me laugh lots
plus he needs them more.
In other news, I think my site is quickly approaching 13 months, 200 posts, 450 comments, and 1000 hits. To make matters worse, the same 3 people hit my site over and over again. :(
With tooth at my tips
I will never sit too close
What does my screen say
keyboard, mouse { float: left;}
i {position: relative;}
<mac><mouse/><keyboard/><i/>…
I will not win this
I am not witty or smart
Back to Croft’s website
Damn I am tired
Always another deadline
Time I hit the hay
clean desk in a dream
cables.pesky {display: none;}
css no good
System Preferences>
Hardware>Bluetooth>Devices>
Set Up New Device
Sheez… lots of haiku’s already! While Mike is diving, I’ll throw in mine:
late haiku problem
girl says get away from mac
he smiles in warm bed
Input yin and yang
harmoniously unite
unfettered and free.
Small and fun
I definitely want
to get one
Click for your own free mac mini
Mike I hope your enjoying it down in Mexico, I went down there last year to the same area and had a great time. Make sure to do an excursion to the Cenotes, trust me you won’t regret it. Well here’s my effort for the game.
a pc i have
a mac i yearn
bluetooth set me free
unbelieveable
free stuff for poetic fluff
i really like mike
what you say
all your wireless are belong to us
for great justice
Jeez, don’t you all know?
The haiku form is to be
five-seven-five, yo!
By the way, Jason Rutherford…that #78 was funny as hell, once I finally got it (or rather, Mike explained it to me). :)
Bluetooth not standard
On my new g5 iMac
I hope i don’t win
Haiku are for art.
Your contest mocks my talent.
Devalues my gift.
Slight variation:
Live, eat, breath: Haiku
Your contest mocks my passion:
Devalues market!
Spending time at work
Writing haiku for prizes
Could get me fired.
I was feeling really creative and inspired last night, and came up with this Haiku:
Hail Bluetooth Keyboard
I Long For Your Wireless Gaze
Unbind Me Now
( I haven’t written any html in ages, so this might backfire on me…)
Two birds with one stone:
I could use some of your help.
I am such a whore.
With wireless keys…
I still concoct my Haikus;
But from a distance.
davidson said no
through his message boy danny
next time maybe
89 up to
96 means quantity
over quality.
I dislike tintin
The timing of his entry
Wrecked 97
Shit! Zzzzzp! Bang!
Walking by the River
XP PC up in smoke
Smell of Roses in the Air
Mini Mac at my door
I suck!!
I just bought a Mac.
I used to use a PC.
Is that good enough?
Giz Giz Giz Giz Giz
Giz Giz Giz Giz Giz You Are
Giz Giz Super Giz
When you never have written a haiku before, and none of your teachers ever have mentioned it, you don’t feel very motivated for the task, but here it is anyway:
A haiku story, I hope it makes you happy, then I will be happy.
How are you typing?
With a wireless mac keyboard.
You are so cool man!
Did your mouse just move?
Yes it did, Mike Davidson.
I gave you that mouse.
Mice fall from the sky,
I did not know mice could fly,
nor do I deny.
The mouse has fallen,
I am laying on the ground,
We see eye to eye.
From the ground I move
Over to my large wood desk,
The mouse still works now.
The keyboard is here!
There are no wires on it,
My text is entered.
This haiku I wrote,
Wanting a keyboard and mouse,
from merely my dreams.
Now I will leave you,
Thank you for considering,
I hope to win now.
Joshua “Comp” Pezz,
On a Powerbook G4,
I love Apple so much.
Either near or far
I can use my Macintosh
Because of Bluetooth
I use Mozilla
Sometimes I use Safari
Not close to the screen
How are you not close?
I use wireless addons
That is fly fancy
Tiger comes out soon
I don’t see a long horn though
Spotlight broke the horn
I like that bluetooth!
Do you know the muffin man?
What? Not blue-berries.
What is your mouse now?
I am using the touchpad.
That’s unfortunate.
Apple keyboard feature:
Over the air encryption.
Isn’t that awesome?
Arthur C. Clarke wrote
advanced tech. same as magic
I love science fiction
Confucious say:
little asian fingers
like a mouse with no tail
compliment a big brain and,
wasabi.
Wife says too much time
Spent away from her on mac
Need Bluetooth on couch.
Right on the deadline (midnight here):
Typing hurts me
change is possible at last
I will type
(I know that’s a bit short, but does this count as a chiasmus as well as a haiku?)
I’m not a code poet,
but I’d be a lot closer
to one with blue tooth.
"Many will enter,
few will win." I should like to
thank the academy…
Look - I’m bad at this
persuasion stuff, so let’s give
underdogs a chance.
I’m really not sure
That one long thought on three lines
counts as a haiku.
Is there such thing as a run-on haiku?
Not really… haiku are a kinda weird style. The ‘most official’ style is a set of seven 5-7-5s, but really anything goes.
why would i want you
oh colored tooth keys?
you’re flakey and drop your connection
and won’t let me boot while holding your C
why would i want you
oh monopoly mouse?
you’re fugly and jealous
i won’t let you in my house!
Subconsciously, I
reach for my plugged-in mouse. Oops.
Ow. My arm’s asleep.
Powerbook gets hot,
Pants catch fire, ouch, that hurts much,
Free me from this pain.
That was fun, I hope there is another one soon!
“I’m really not sure
That one long thought on three lines
counts as a haiku.
Is there such thing as a run-on haiku?”
Ah, Jeffrey A. Croft!
Master of eastern culture.
Teach us what you know.
And, as far as an answer to your question, about the only rule that is generally followed with Haiku is the 5-7-5 rule, even though there was traditionally a thematic structure as well. (The 5-7-5 rule as we use it today doesn’t even really fit, as they don’t use syllables in the same way that we do.)
So, my answer to your question is, so long as it’s a 5-7-5, it fits the bastardized version of Haiku that modern usage has deemed acceptable. (Whether the judge wants to allow a run-on Haiku to win is another matter altogether.)
Women will love me.
I will lose twenty-five pounds.
If I have this mouse.
Too legit to quit.
MC Hammer thinks so, too.
Help a guy out, Mike.
What would Jesus do?
Probably give me this mouse.
Mike, are you Jesus?
Wife is Japanese,
Yet mice interest her not,
I haiku alone.
Mice without wires?
What`choo talkin` `bout Willis?
I sure would like one!
1M Served compo!
Haiku to win wireless toys
damn, missed the deadline :(
Congratulations Mike on your 1,000,000th :D
Big applause for your quality blog for reaching 1 million.
You deserve it, your doing a great job here!
And doing good on the net is rewarded (-:
and a year and six months later where are we Mike? You did after all hit slashdot during the year …
Good blog.
wire-less less-wire
a cool idea with hot deal
nice blog from great man